Button, button, who's got the button?

Sometimes I wish there was a "pause" button in life to halt life when things are going generally okay and everyone is healthy so that all Studoc has to worry about is studying for all the exams he has next week.  And for that matter, sometimes I wish for a "rewind" button and definitely a "fast forward" button.  Let me explain...

So, last week was bad, because Bean had the mother of all diaper rashes...flaming red raw skin like it was eating away at his skin type of rash.  SO painful for my little guy!  So last week I exhausted myself doing everything humanly possible to try to help his rash.  After a full week of 2 baths a day, Tylenol, every butt cream on the market, etc, etc, it finally started to heal a little (where was my fast forward button?)  I thought, "FINALLY, it's starting to get better and things can get back to normal again....right?"


Monday night Bean was up all night.  ALL.  NIGHT.  Crying.  Fever.  Nose running like a faucet.  I felt so bad for Studoc who heard him crying on the monitor all night and heard me getting up 10 times when he had school the next day!  Bean's still sick today, and on top of that, he was scheduled for his 1 year appointment and got 3 shots to add to his misery.  Poor kid.  (Don't call CPS on me, I'd rather he be a little extra fussy than get Rubella or something!)

And to top if off, I woke up sick today also.  It's so fun being sick and taking care of a sick baby while my husband is MIA because he needs to study for next week.....I just PRAY he doesn't get sick, too.  But you know he will.  Right before his exams next week.  Or else it'd be too easy! :P

I guess my point is, I feel like even if you take a big pencil eraser and erase everything else about life but medical school, medical school is still unavoidably incredibly demanding.  Add any kind of life in the mix, and it feels overwhelming.  But that's the name of the game, right?  To try to learn how to handle this insurmountable workload while balancing a life on the side?  I guess I should cut us some slack since we've only had a month so far to learn how to do this.

Fast forward button, you would be any med wife's best friend.  Skip ahead to when husband's out of med school.  Wait--skip ahead to when husband's done with residency.  Wait--skip ahead to......oh hey, there went half our lives!  So, big med wife lesson #2:

Get rid of the fast forward button.

I've got to stop thinking in skip ahead mode and telling myself..."things will be better/easier at such-and-such point in this med school game..."  I've got to start thinking in "Play" which means enjoying the NOW.  (Well, not necessarily the now being sick and having a sick baby, but in general....you know what I mean.)


Anonymous said...

Yup - I am totally guilty of wanting to fast forward everything too! But there is a lot of good stuff that comes out of med school/residency... I mean, nothing beats your front-row seat to the slow transformation from student to doctor. It's amazing.

Hope you and your baby feel better soon!

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