How to Interpret Your Med Student

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1.  Studoc:  "I have a test in 3 weeks."
     Interpretation:  "You won't see me for 3 weeks."


2.  Studoc:  "I'm on my way to anatomy lab."
     Interpretation:  "I can't text you for the next 3 hours, cuz I'll be elbow-deep in a dead guy."


3.  Studoc:  "My quiz is in the morning."
     Interpretation:  "I'll be up studying all night, so sleep with this pillow next to you."

4.  Studoc:  "I learned something really interesting today."

     Interpretation:  "...and now I want to practice it on YOU!"


5.  Studoc:  "What?  I don't remember saying I'd take out the trash."
     Interpretation:  "My brain is so jam-packed I now communicate on autopilot."

6.  Studoc:  "We worked on cadavers again today."

     Interpretation:  "...and that's why I smell all funky."

7.  Studoc:  "I wouldn't be able to do all this without you."
     Interpretation:  "I wouldn't be able to do all this without you."

Living with Uncertainty is Okay

Somewhere along the road to becoming adults we decided that we needed to have control of our lives and have everything planned out before us all neatly in a row.  We decided this is what keeps us calm and makes us happy.

I know, I think the exact same way.  I am a planner.  I get giddy walking down the calendar aisle at Target.  I love to have things organized so I feel like I'm in control of my life.

It's why I'm mildly obsessed with Microsoft Excel.  I make spreadsheets for everything, anything.  Our finances, my cleaning schedule, my weekly To Do schedule, my son's daily routine.....if a spreadsheet can be made for it, I make it with a satisfied smile on my face.  Oh how lovely that everything fits so nice and tidy in each little box!

Unfortunately for me, life is not like this--for anyone--no matter what the career path.  But especially not with medical school.  Why can't I use a calendar to plan out or lives for rotations, after medschool, for residency, after residency?  There are so many unknowns, uncertainties, and whatifs....why doesn't everything just fit neatly into a box?

After completing year one of medschool, I've finally made my peace with not having our lives perfectly planned out even a little bit.  Sure, it still stresses me out sometimes, but I use to wage an internal battle against the medschool process without its knowledge.  It didn't do anything but give me anxiety and make me a bit bitter.  I've made my peace.  No spreadsheet for medschool. :)

I'm currently reading a thick book on creative writing, just for fun.  In it I found a quote that novelist Robert Stone said about the process of creative writing....and when I read it I immediately thought, "That's exactly like medical school!"  And life in general, really:

"It's like driving a car at night.  You can only see as far ahead as your headlights, but you can make the entire journey that way."

You can make the entire journey that way.  Now that was reassuring.  I guess it's kind of like my son's Easter egg hunt this year.  He didn't know where all the eggs were hidden, but he was happy as a clam to find one egg at a time, and eventually his basket was full.  One egg at a time.

(How's that for an analogy so I can include a cute picture of my son? :)

Bad News and Big Toes

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This week Studoc is learning how to deliver bad news.

Thankfully, unlike the comic, he is practicing on standardized patients.  (Paid actors trained to simulate real patients with particular health situations.)

Yesterday, a few lucky med students got to practice delivering bad news to the "patients" while the rest of the med students watched and openly critiqued them...hmm, no pressure, right?

Naturally, Studoc was one of the lucky chosen, and he was issued the hardest scenario that nobody wanted to get.  One student had to tell their "patient" they had pancreatic cancer, another had to give sad news of a miscarriage, another had to tell the son of a patient that their father who was set to leave the hospital that day suddenly had a heart attack and died, and a few other scenarios that of course are difficult, but yet "easy" in this exercise because the "doctor" mainly explains and consoles.

Enter Studoc's scenario which I will only sum up (each situations has a ton of made up details to make it sufficiently complicated).  Studoc's male patient contracted gonorrhea (had to look up how to spell that by the way!) while his military wife was deployed  and just recently returned.  So Studoc had to explain to them that the husband has an STD which implied that the husband had an affair and the wife needed to be tested because she probably has an STD now. Crazy, right?

Stop and take a breather here, friends.  This situation, though plausible, is not real.  Let's insert a happy face emoticon here ----> :)

Suddenly, the situation back at the "doctor's office" started to get amusing.  The husband and wife began a dramatic argument in front of Studoc (they were great actors I'm told).  The fighting is funnier if you know the husband was an old guy wearing a cowboy hat and sunglasses and speaking with a southern drawl.  I doubt I could keep a straight face watching this scene knowing it's a fake fight!

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I know from personal experience that Studoc will be compassionate while delivering bad news.  At the beginning of our dating courtship, he had to sit me down and tell me that one of my friends--one of my only friends in the new city I recently moved to--had just died.  He did a perfect job communicating it to me directly and sensitively.  

Shortly after, I reflected on what a difficult thing he had to do so early in our relationship and how well he did it, I was always impressed and said to myself, "Self, this is the kind of man you want to marry.  The kind that can help you through hard times extremely well like that."

So I married him.  (When did this post become my life story??)  Let's just conclude here with a random picture of our son sucking his big toe.

Doctor's Handwriting

Studoc told me the other day that his medical school professors encourage bad handwriting.

Surprised?  Confused?  Me too.

Apparently, one of Studoc's professors has repeatedly shared her story of when she was beginning her career as a doctor and she had pretty penmanship and a legible signature.  Then one day, a patient of hers forged her nice handwriting and signature to write himself a prescription for 2 pounds of cocaine.  He proceeded to the pharmacy with his prescription to obtain his 2 pounds of cocaine.  Obviously, this flagged suspicion at the pharmacy and he was caught.  (Shocker!)

First of all:  Cocaine???  Really???  Dude, at least write it out for Vicodin or something somewhat believable that they'd actually have at the pharmacy.  I guess I shouldn't expect much from someone wanting cocaine and willing to commit forgery.


Second of all:  2 pounds???  C'mon buddy.  I don't even know what to say.

Professor's moral of the story:  Bad handwriting is harder to forge.  And all this time I just figured doctors were in too much of a hurry to write neatly, or that they probably write so many prescriptions each day that the penmanship simply becomes sloppy.  I'm sure there's some of that in there, too.

This professor actually chastised a student in class for having too neat a signature and told him to change it, and he's not too happy about it.

We typically think of things like signatures as our own very personal marks.  But I guess when it's something critically important to your job and reputation it becomes more business than personal.   I was a bank teller for many years, and we all had to come up with very unique signatures and initials for the hundreds of money matters we approved and signed off on each day.  Having a unique signature and initials meant my job.

Thankfully, Studoc (love you honey!) already has very doctorish handwriting, and a signature that...well, let's just say.....it would be incredibly difficult to forge. :)

Crusty

So I haven't posted anything for a little bit because Studoc has had tons of tests, and lately his studying is in the form of me playing "patient" (the noun and the adjective!).  More on that fun to come.

In the meantime, please enjoy this random cute picture of my kid complete with standard mouth crusties.

What's up StuDoc?

An update on Studoc's medschool happenings

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Studoc recdently had a big test on immunology, pharmacology, and cell pathology.  Too many "ology"s in my book!  I was kind of excited, because part of the test was on a bunch of different drugs and details about them.  He made flashcards, and I quizzed him and came up with some silly mnemonic devices--my forte!--to help him remember. (I totally had to look up how to spell mnemonic, by the way.)  It just felt good to be able to help him study.  He also remembers things more when he talks it through out loud, so I also help out by letting him talk at me about his material in medical language that may as well be Greek to me.  But hey--whatever helps him study!  I was excited to be able to help.

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Yesterday, Studoc had an injection lab where they were taught how to give injections and practiced on a partner.  Yep, you heard right, they practiced on each other!  They got stuck 5 times.....4 times with saline and 1 time with a flu shot.

One of the shots was a shot in the rear!  Since Studoc had his guy buddy for a partner, I pretty much just made fun of him.  But actually, he says the shot is at the very top of the glut almost in line with your hip, so it's not like there was full-fledged mooning going on.

And for another one of the shots, they had to give it to themselves in the stomach like diabetics do I guess.  Studoc said he didn't have a big problem with it, because he has the ability to make himself do things that need to be done even if he doesn't really want to do it.  Good skill for a doctor--and life--if you ask me.

But he said some people stood there trying to do it for like 10 minutes and just couldn't bring themselves to do it.  He said some girls were all out crying because they couldn't do it.  Studoc said you can barely feel a stomach shot because the nerves are so spread out in your trunk area.  At any rate, I'm glad this is something he doesn't have to practice on me--needles give me the heebie-geebies!--and I can pretty much guarantee I'd be one of the crying girls!

Wait-am I at home or the doctor's?

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Studoc recently got his bag of medical supplies that all the med students are required to purchase.  For a whopping $1000 (which at this point is a drop in the bucket) for the stethoscope, blood pressure cuff, eye light and ear light thingy--ya know I really don't know the fancy names for all his stuff, but I do know stethoscope! :)  His stethoscope is even red like in this picture, because apparently the stealing of stethoscopes in med school is not uncommon, so he wanted the brightest/rarest color available.  He totally would have chosen a bright orange one if it was available!

So the med students are supposed to practice with these new toys (which is what I call them even though they're completely real and legit....but let's face it, to my husband they're new toys to play with!).

Lately I've been feeling like I live at the doctor's office, with him taking my vitals and such.  Sure it's good practice for him and I'm happy to help, but I have to admit, all the doctor's office stuff makes me nervous.  Some people are nervous about going to the dentist.  Not me!  Bring on the dentist!  Some people are nervous about going to the doctor.  I am some people.  But something tells me that over the next couple of years, I will become a lot more comfortable with all this stuff, especially with all the doctoring going on at home!  It'll actually be nice in the future...we'll most likely save several visits to the doctor with my husband's chosen profession.  I'm all about that!

In the meantime, I'll just get accustomed to knowing my daily blood pressure, having a blinding light shine through my pupils, and having him look into my ears (so romantic!).  It'll probably make going to the doctor's from now on feel a little like home.

Update/The Reverie

Don't you just love all my little pictures I put in my posts?  I think they enhance things a bit.  The visuals make me happy.  This visual is because Studoc has been studying extra EXTRA long hours because he has an exam every day this week, each day on a different subject.  I'd like to have a little chat with the guy who thought this was an excellent idea, and teach him about such phrases as "disgruntled wife" and "studying so hard it fries the brain."  <---As to the latter, I'm certain there's some science behind that.

The only thing about the picture that's inaccurate is all the words, when Studoc's books are mostly filled with pictures/drawings.  And no matter what book you open, it inevitably opens to drawings of men/women unmentionable parts.  I make a point to never open up his books, because I'm squeamish and stuff like seeing the insides of people grosses me out.  Even if they're drawings.  I don't care about seeing the insides, people.  I just want it all to work properly!

Getting through this week will be a relief for our family....I feel stressed about these tests, and I'm not even the one taking them.  Kind of like when I played soccer back in the day.......(harp music playing while blurry cloudiness signals I'm in a reverie.  And let's add a soccer ball picture, too).

There we go.  So once upon a time when I played soccer, I remember how it felt to play during the game.  The pressure ran through our players like electrical fun.  We wanted to do our best, and preferably win.  I loved being in the game, and having that feeling...even though it was pressure, I knew I was in there and could make a difference.

The hardest part of the game by far was when we had to rotate people and I had to sit on the sidelines for a bit.  The pressure was still there--the anxiousness, the excitement--but it was different.....because I wasn't in the game.  I yearned to be in the field to do something about the pressure I felt.  To block that kick.  To steal the ball from that player.  To help my team.  But it was out of my control.   

I have felt like this about Studoc's tests in medical school.  I feel the pressure, anxiousness, and excitement (although I'm sure he feels things emotions to greater degrees than I do).  But I'm not in the game.  I'm on the sideline.  It's difficult to be involved with the team and not in the game--I can't very well go to school with him--but I'm trying to find ways to help and support from the sideline.  I'll cheer him on.  Be there for the wins and losses.  With juice boxes and orange slices.

Button, button, who's got the button?

Sometimes I wish there was a "pause" button in life to halt life when things are going generally okay and everyone is healthy so that all Studoc has to worry about is studying for all the exams he has next week.  And for that matter, sometimes I wish for a "rewind" button and definitely a "fast forward" button.  Let me explain...

So, last week was bad, because Bean had the mother of all diaper rashes...flaming red raw skin like it was eating away at his skin type of rash.  SO painful for my little guy!  So last week I exhausted myself doing everything humanly possible to try to help his rash.  After a full week of 2 baths a day, Tylenol, every butt cream on the market, etc, etc, it finally started to heal a little (where was my fast forward button?)  I thought, "FINALLY, it's starting to get better and things can get back to normal again....right?"

Wrong.

Monday night Bean was up all night.  ALL.  NIGHT.  Crying.  Fever.  Nose running like a faucet.  I felt so bad for Studoc who heard him crying on the monitor all night and heard me getting up 10 times when he had school the next day!  Bean's still sick today, and on top of that, he was scheduled for his 1 year appointment and got 3 shots to add to his misery.  Poor kid.  (Don't call CPS on me, I'd rather he be a little extra fussy than get Rubella or something!)

And to top if off, I woke up sick today also.  It's so fun being sick and taking care of a sick baby while my husband is MIA because he needs to study for next week.....I just PRAY he doesn't get sick, too.  But you know he will.  Right before his exams next week.  Or else it'd be too easy! :P

I guess my point is, I feel like even if you take a big pencil eraser and erase everything else about life but medical school, medical school is still unavoidably incredibly demanding.  Add any kind of life in the mix, and it feels overwhelming.  But that's the name of the game, right?  To try to learn how to handle this insurmountable workload while balancing a life on the side?  I guess I should cut us some slack since we've only had a month so far to learn how to do this.

Fast forward button, you would be any med wife's best friend.  Skip ahead to when husband's out of med school.  Wait--skip ahead to when husband's done with residency.  Wait--skip ahead to......oh hey, there went half our lives!  So, big med wife lesson #2:

Get rid of the fast forward button.

I've got to stop thinking in skip ahead mode and telling myself..."things will be better/easier at such-and-such point in this med school game..."  I've got to start thinking in "Play" which means enjoying the NOW.  (Well, not necessarily the now being sick and having a sick baby, but in general....you know what I mean.)

Labor Day "Vacation"

Today was Labor Day Holiday.  So Studoc didn't have school.

I wish I could say we slept in way late to catch up on much-needed sleep.
I wish I could say we spent the whole day at the beach basking in the warm sun and splashing in salty water.
I wish I could say we got together with a bunch of friends and family for dinner and had a rockin' BBQ.
I wish I could say we had a blissful, relaxing day where we got to be together alllllll day.

::sigh::

Well, all that didn't happen.  We got up at our normal times, and Studoc had to go to school to poke around at dead bodies.  He has a big lab practical next week, so he and a bunch of his classmates met at school to study the cadavers, because his practical is going to be something where the professor points to a bunch of different muscles, nerves, veins, arteries, bones, etc. on the cadaver, and he has to know what they all are and do.  Yeah, it's a LOT to know....hence the all day (and all week) studying.

BUT.......when he came home and needed a break, we went to a nearby park with Bean to feed the ducks in a pretty pond and play frisbee in the green grass.  It was really fun!

Bean with the ducks

Then we came home because Studoc had to study for several more hours.  But at least we got to spend a little more time together than normal and do something fun!

Coloring in Med School!

Yesterday in med school, Studoc told me they were learning to identify surface bones and organs.  So what did they do?  They were given a bunch of washable markers and told to draw and color on their partners.  Studoc said he felt like a first-grader coloring but that it was really funny and actually great practice.

So he drew on his partner.....bones around the face and sinuses, arteries in the neck, sternum and stuff around the chest (girls wear sports bras and they work around them, in case you're wondering...and I would list more stuff they outlined and colored, but that's the extent of anatomy I remember from 9th grade Biology).  So people ended up looking all Halloween-ish and like human cartoons.  Isn't that funny??

Apparently Studoc dodged a bullet and wasn't drawn on because they ran out of time.  Bummer.  I totally would've made fun of him! :)

So that's what my husband in a professional school did yesterday.  Colored with markers.  Awesome.