9.22.2011

how to date your med student

One of my dear friends Bri recently did a sweet newlywed post about things she and her husband do to continue to date each other.  I've decided to do my own personal version of dating tips amidst med school life.  I'm not pretending to be good at these things all the time, but they are things I make an effort to do because they work for us.

1.  GET YOUR CALENDAR ON:


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I put it on my calendar: DATE NIGHT.  And if I already have an idea of what I'd like to do, I write that down as well.  For some, planning date nights on the calendar may seem mundane and/or unromantic.  But let me tell you....it reminds you both that you need to spend time together and break away from your normal busy living routine.  It also prevents you both from getting separately sucked into the TV, internet, etc, and then at 9:45pm suddenly thinking, "Shoot!  Tonight was supposed to be date night!" <----this has happened to us too many times!  And so I've learned to plan.

2.  DEFINE QUALITY TIME:


We like going to the local library as a family.  My boy just loves books.
And Studoc and I have sparkling conversations about different books and authors as we browse.
What does "quality time" mean to you?  What does it mean to your husband?  With limited time between daily life and studying, it's important to define what quality time means to you as a couple, as it means something different for everybody.  EXAMPLE:  Studoc will watch TV with me sometimes on a study break.  Later, I may complain, "I feel like I haven't gotten to spend time with you today."  He may respond, "But I watched TV with you for a while on my study break...did that not count?"  Well, yes and no.  These days time "together" means anytime Studoc's at home, even if he's locked away studying.  But quality time?  That means something a little more to me.  Don't get me wrong, I wholeheartedly appreciate any and every minute he spends with me with his busy schedule.  I just feel it important to make time for activities where you both feel like you've really reconnected.


3.  CALL ERRANDS DATES:


Don't judge moms for letting their kids do this in the toy aisle until you have a kid.
I promise you'll understand! :)
Our situation equation right now is: POOR + NO BABYSITTERS + LIMITED TIME = DATE ERRANDS.  For example, we have Target Date Nights.  We always seem to need something from Target, so we pick up what we need and have a grand old time perusing the aisles together.  We hug each other as we watch our 2 year old have a blast in the toy aisle playing with toys we can't afford.  My point is, it doesn't matter what you do, it just matters who you're with.  And if you label certain errands as "dates" then you both act differently--there is more sweetness in your voices.  More hand-holding.  More stolen kisses.  Even if you're at Target.


4.  GET EXCITED:


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Part of the fun is simply having something to look forward to and getting excited about it.  It also makes me less grumpy about not being able to spend a lot of time with Studoc during the week.  You'll be in your office studying tonight again?  Okay, at least I have date night to look forward to at the end of the week.  And when Friday comes, I'll tell Studoc how excited I am for date time and we talk it up.  I'll text him extra sweet texts during the day, and he'll send some back if he can.  It's great to have something to look forward to.  Even if we end up laying in bed together watching episodes of Chuck on the laptop while eating ice cream. <--- actually one of our favorite things!!

5.  FORGET HOW POOR YOU ARE (once in a while):


Studoc and I are very careful with our money, and we don't go out to eat or spend a lot (as evidenced by my cheap date confessions thus far).  But once in a while, you gotta forget how poor you are and treat yourselves!  Studoc and I recently celebrated our 5 year wedding anniversary.  We went to a really nice Brazilian steakhouse while visiting my family in San Diego.  It costs a pretty penny.  But it was definitely worth it to celebrate with all you can eat mouthwatering meat brought to your table constantly on impressive swords.  We will typically go out to eat somewhere or spend money doing something fun after Studoc finishes a bunch of big tests...it's a much-needed, well-deserved reward for us both!

What are some tips or ideas on dating that you have in your relationship?

5 comments:

jennifer said...

my husband is not a med student, but we struggle with this same issue. there is not enough time some weeks to go out! soccer practice, family gatherings, church duties, etc. sometimes take over our evening plans. we like to have an "ongoing date" with whatever tv dvd series we've recently got hooked on. right now it's fringe. we're on season 2. if we have an extra 40 minutes in the evening, we'll pop in our library borrowed disc and cuddle while we watch an episode. some weeks we only have sunday evenings. we'll go for a hand holding stroll around the canal or make milkshakes and eat them on the front porch - away from the children ;) if we do have time on a friday or saturday night then we like to hit the $3 theater. $6 for tix + the free popcorn promo make for an inexpensive date :)

Marisa said...

Hi, Mel! Great tips! I've been doing something similar on my blog for the past 11 weeks in my series First Aid for Dating a Doctor.

Habbala said...

I love it!!!

So, I'm thinking you should do a little guest blog on my blog. I'm going to get a bunch of people to do it... and you must. :)

MJ @ MD School Mrs said...

So great :) We do a lot of Groupon/Living Social things for dates...either for a great meal on the cheap or to try some new activity.

(I say a lot. I mean like the two times a year when we have a date away from home!!)

medicalwife said...

I LOVE IT! So good and so true- all these tips! I L.O.V.E. errand dates!

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